Time Heals Everything Page 5

  Then his hard, straining length opened her, filled her, and as he slid further inside, a wave of blinding pleasure broke inside of her once more, sending her against the soft sheets, up against the rigid length of him.

  Arching his back, he drove into her over and over with each velvet stroke until she shuddered, flowing into him, as if their souls had melted together to the rhythm of music that was all their own. Need wracked both of them, taking them from the edge of pleasure to the brink of exquisite pain until Nick could no longer hold back the tight leash of his own desire, taking them spinning across the precipice over which they had been hovering.

  It was timeless, perfect, and their lives would never be the same. It was ageless, that moment of eternity, and it was an eternity that would last long after that sunny morning.

  “You do know what this means, don’t you?” Nick asked in the silent moments after their breath had returned to their bodies. Holding her in his arms, his body was warm and relaxed, his voice soft in the streaming sunlight. Casually, he lifted the curls from her face as the breeze from a nearby fan blew them against his fingers.

  A husky laugh bubbled from her throat, ignoring the warning implicit in his tone. “That you’re going to make an honest woman out of me?”

  “No.”

  He said it quietly, his voice low and grim, even as his hand smoothed the length of her thigh. “It means just what I told you . . . no strings. In exchange, if you’re still with me at the end of the year, half of the club will be transferred into your name.” Turning over, he hid how his heart twisted at the look of hurt reflected in Kat’s eyes. “It’s not repayment,” he insisted without looking directly at her, “but it is supplying for whatever future may come after us. I won’t leave you with nothing to your name. I can’t do that. But you’d better understand one thing right now, and it’s never going to change. This club comes first – it always has, and it always will. If you’re looking for a white picket fence and a bunch of kids for Buddy to play with, you’d be better off leaving this bed right now, because it’s never going to happen.”

  Her answer came in a reply of a long, searching kiss filled with all the belief she still held in her heart. “Can you at least tell me that you love me?” She looked down, half-afraid of what she would see in his eyes.

  When he lifted her chin to meet his gaze, his blue eyes held the look of someone who wasn’t about to change his mind. “Kat,” he answered as his hands moved over her, “even if I did, you would be the last to know.” Slowly, he rolled away from her body, and she heard the slap of his bare feet striking the boards. Motionless, she watched Nick as he padded into his own small bath, and listened as he splashed water into the basin in preparation for his morning shave. Lazily, she rolled over, staring around the apartment, her ears still full of the sounds of Nick’s morning rituals. Waking up like this every morning wouldn’t be so bad … she thought. Even if he won’t send me roses or remember my birthday, I’d still get to wake up beside him every morning. Kat flopped onto her back, making the bedsprings squeak. What am I thinking? Am I really considering what he told me? Oh, God, to feel like this every morning, I think I’d consider anything. She wrapped her arms around herself and stifled a giggle, stealing a glance towards the bathroom. Besides – he’s just trying to hold me at arm’s length, like he always does. He’ll come around. I know he will.

  In the washroom, Nick paused, his razor halfway to his cheeks. Tilting the mirror he was using to reflect the bed where Kat lay, he watched her, wondering what thoughts lay behind her catlike eyes. Don’t hang on me, kid. Don’t fall in love with me. There are better men out there for you – you don’t need to fall all over a street-rat-nobody like me. I can’t give you what you need, kid. All I can do is provide for you until you find it. Nick edged away from the fatherly overtones present in that thought, but he knew he could not give her more than he already had. He’d made a good life for himself – he was the first man to admit that he’d come a long way since his street-rat days, but the fact remained that a girl like Kat deserved to go places, meet people, and have more opportunities than simply being some saloon-keeper’s broad. I never should’ve broken my rule, he thought mournfully as he put his razor to his cheek again and flipped his mirror back. I can’t love you, Kat – a guy like me can’t let himself fall in love with someone like you – because if I let myself love you, I’ll never, ever let you go, and if there’s any dame who deserves better than that, it’s you.

  Later, as Kat dressed for the evening’s performance, her eyes strayed to where Nick stood knotting his black silk tie. Covering her mouth with her hand as she watched him, her bright green eyes crinkled in a secret, determined smile. All afternoon, he’d been quiet, as though he was attempting to lock himself away again after what they’d shared, and she’d be damned if she was going to let him do it. Nick, you’d better believe that I’ll hear you tell me you love me. I’ll hear it, I promise – or I’ll die trying.

  Chapter Four

  June, 1938

  Over the next two years, Kat tried her best to succeed in her goal, but as the seasons changed and the months flew by, it seemed as if Nick’s heart always dangled right out of her reach. Finally, she became resigned to her situation, replacing her focus on Nick to her career with the same intensity that Nick put into the club. After all, she reasoned, perhaps it would work for her in the end; if he was tied to the club and its success, maybe she could finally win his heart by bringing him the one thing that she knew he valued: success for the club.

  She concentrated on her singing, determined that even if she failed to make Nick hers; she would at least leave something behind for people to remember her by. Her efforts didn’t go totally unrewarded. Nick’s club expanded as the money kept rolling in. Her success, and his, kept piling up, but it wasn’t enough for Kat, and it boiled beneath her skin like a fever that wouldn’t go away. All of it came to a head one sunny morning as she looked over the figures in her tiny bankbook one last time. As early morning light filtered through the empty club, Kat carefully approached Nick, her heels clicking softly across the floor. “I’m heading for the bank, and I need you to go with me.”

  “Why?” The question was asked with a taste of Nick’s usual caution when it came to the mention of money. “You know the combination to the safe. If you need cash, just go get it.”

  Shaking her head adamantly, her hair, now to her shoulders, moved in a wave of fiery highlights. Her silken dress whispered as she placed her hands on her hips. “No, this isn’t club money and I need to pull five hundred from our joint account. I’ve met up with a new agent who promises me a full recording contract, but he needs a retainer first.”

  Nick lowered his paper, the icy temper in his blue eyes rising. “And how many times have we gone down this avenue before?” Slamming down his coffee cup, Nick’s cold expression lacerated her soul. “How many auditions have you gone on? How much money have you spent on voice lessons? Now, some new suit comes along, promising you the same old bullshit and you’re going to buy into it. If you can’t smell a scam when it’s right under your nose, you haven’t learned a damn thing.”

  Drawing herself to her full height, she tilted back slightly on her heels. “Damn it Nick, this guy could be the break I’ve been looking for.” Stubbornly, she looked down at her dress, her fingers touching the gold buttons at the tight sleeves. “You’ve spent twice that much for this dress, so what’s the difference?”

  “The difference,” he replied softly as his hands slid down her shoulders, “is that this is something I can see, I can touch, and even more, it’s something I can appreciate on the lady wearing it.” Exasperated when she didn’t respond to his caress, he turned away, his hands balling into fists at his side. “You’re the biggest draw on the circuit. Everyone loves your song, isn’t that enough?”

  “No!” Dashing the tears from her eyes, Kat folded her arms across her chest. “You insisted on having me fitted for a diaphragm after the first time so that
I could never have our child . . . and hell only knows you’ve made it quite apparent that the club still comes first. Well, all right – that’s what I agreed to, after all,” she snapped, dragging on the words to emphasize the contract that lay verbally between them. “But just like you want what’s yours, I want something just for me, and this song is it. Maybe it will only be a one hit number, but at least it will be something that’s mine. And,” she pointed out, bitterness gnawing at her words, “as you’ve so often pointed out, a singer’s life is a short one. I want . . . no I need … something to show that I once walked this earth. To leave something of myself behind.”

  Rubbing his hands over his face, there was a part of him that understood – another that ate at him that he wouldn’t give her a child.

  But no kid of mine will be a bastard . . . no kid will go through what I went through, and I’m not chaining you to me, because you deserve better, dammit!

  “It’s never going to be enough,” he said wearily. He was exhausted from debating this with her, but she just wouldn’t let it go. “Even if this guy is on the up and up, it’s only going to lead to another recording and then another. You won’t see anything from it, Kat. They’ll eat your soul and leave you nothing in return.”

  “You know,” she said quietly as she ruffled through sheet music that had been left for her approval, “it might be different if you believed in me. I could at least hold on to that. I can receive compliments from every known performer in the business, but never, never have I heard one word of praise from you.” She turned to look at him, her heart melting as it always did when she looked at him. He stood tall and strong, a white shirt gleaming under his signature blue suit, with a silver tie brightening his cobalt blue eyes. He had allowed his hair to grow a bit, bright curls shining under the overhead bar lights. He was the kind of man who could have any woman he wanted. And so far, that woman had been her, but a part of her wondered for how much longer.

  But those blue eyes that could look at her so warmly, were nothing more than chips of blue ice. “You’re still here, aren’t you?” He looked at her, his voice deadly quiet, tired of this long- standing argument. It was always the same: she wanted the words – words that he couldn’t give her. He could spend his last dime on her and it wouldn’t be enough. What is it about a woman that makes them want a man’s soul? Besides, he thought, even if I wanted to, I know I’m not the kind of guy that a dame brings home to meet her parents. Even if he were here now, her daddy wouldn’t have given me his consent. Hell, he probably would have settled for shooting me instead. Nick sighed deeply. It was better this way. It was safer this way. Safer to stay alone – to keep things simple. He wished with all of his heart that she understood that.

  “I own half of the club,” she hissed, interrupting his thoughts. “I share your bed every night. What choice do you have, but to keep me around?”

  “You can change that,” he reminded her evenly, “at any time that you want.” Suddenly anger flared in him, his fist slamming down on the bar. “Damn it, I’ve done as much as I can . . . and more than I ever thought possible. The house I gave you, the new arrangements. What in the hell more do you want from me?” There was anguish in his voice that Kat refused to hear.

  He was beginning to learn. Maybe he had always known what she wanted most of all. But, unfortunately for them both, it was the one thing that he would never give her.

  “You know what,” she replied, walking away, “forget it. I know you’re going to as soon as my back is turned, anyway.” Her heels clicked softly across the floor as she took the pile of music sheets to the piano. “I have work to do. I’ve found a new song I want to try out tonight. One just for you.”

  * * * *

  Nick’s eyes narrowed as he watched Kat from the corner of his eyes. Normally, he enjoyed watching her when he didn’t think she could see him, and as wrapped up as she was with her new song, he didn’t even think that she knew he was there. She was hard at work, going over various new materials with Ted. He couldn’t have said what it was she was singing. Unless she was in front of an audience, it mattered little to him what it was she sang. He liked to watch her, but he didn’t care what she did.

  This time, something caught his attention, even though it was only singing, or the preparation for singing, that she was doing. She seemed . . . lower than usual; even though her word burst out with their normal effervescence, there was something missing. It was as if she were tired and on the verge of shattering.

  Ever since our last quarrel, she’s acted like this. She needs a break. It came to him with perfect clarity; why hadn’t he thought of it before? Hell, even he needed to get away once in a while. And I know just how to do it. Moving to his feet, he gestured to Ted to get his attention. “Hey you two, cut it short, will ya?”

  Startled, Ted’s elegant fingers stopped with a jarring of notes as he glanced up at Kat, noticing the surprise in her eyes. “What’s up?” the dark-haired man asked cautiously, still unsure of how to read Nick’s sometimes-unpredictable moods.

  Nick shrugged. Reaching into his deep pockets, he tossed a wad of cash in front of Ted. Wide eyed, the pianist’s deep brown eyes watched Nick suspiciously. “What’s this for – boss?” He added the title in almost as a last resort. Even though Nick paid his salary, he considered Kat worthier of the honorific than Nick would ever be. He's a jerk - leading her around by the string he tied to her heart. Sure, he's given her - and me - chances we would never have glimpsed otherwise, but ... what he's doing to her heart isn't right. And he's too selfish to let her go.

  “Here,” Nicks said, ignoring Ted’s suspicion. “I hear you have a new girl. Take her out for a night on the town - on me. There’s no sense to the two of you working on a Sunday anyways. The club won’t open until later tonight, and Tim can handle things.” In a rare public gesture, Nick reached out taking Kat’s hands in his. “And you go get packed, we’re going for a drive. Hell knows when we’ll get back.”

  She didn’t know how to react. This was a side of Nick that Kat had never seen before, and she thought that she knew all of his moods. There was a genuine smile on his face and a teasing tone to his voice that she was unaccustomed to hearing. Not wasting any time in case he changed his mind, she gave Ted a quick peck on his unshaven cheek before darting up the stairs. “It won’t take me but a minute,” she cried out breathlessly as she hauled open the door to the dual apartments which faced each other down the hall at the top of the stairs.

  Pausing a moment, she realised that she hadn’t had the occasion to come here often since she and Nick lived at the house he had purchased for her. I hope I still have some clothing up here. Where is he taking me? What’s going on? Hurriedly, she flipped through the contents of her shared closet with Nick, shrugging out of the simple dress she’d been wearing and throwing off her shoes.

  Nick’s laughter followed her up the stairs, and as she heard his heavy tread creaking upwards, she dug faster through her closet. “Thank goodness I’ve still some clothes left here so that we don’t have to go back home,” she panted.

  “Easy sweetheart,” Nick laughed as he lounged against the door, watching her. “We’re just going away overnight. It’s not as if we’re off to Europe. Just bring one of your fancy gowns, maybe, and throw in some casual clothes for the rest of it.”

  “Fancy clothes and casual?” She lifted a brow before turning to the dresser that they shared. “Exactly what are you up to?”

  “You’ll see.” Crossing the room, Nick took her in his arms, his mouth gentle for once as it possessed hers. It wasn’t as if all they did was share a bed, although most days did start out with her wrapped in his arms as he took possession of her body, he thought. But everybody needs a little shaking up now and again, and it’s been a while since either of us has gotten away from the club. I think the last time we did anything together that wasn’t here, we just lazed around in the backyard of the house. She needs more than that – something new. He wanted to give her something diff
erent, something more than he had ever given her before.

  “Ever been to Catalina?” he asked casually while beginning to toss items into his own valise. He always left a few things lying around at his old apartment just for sudden emergencies. Nick was not a spontaneous man by nature, but he enjoyed being prepared for anything that might suddenly come up. It’s easier that way – safer, he thought, digging out his spare shaving kit. After the tumult of his childhood, Nick liked keeping things on an even keel. It’s nothing special – I just like being prepared.

  “No, but there are a lot of places I’ve never been.” There was a note of sadness in her voice as she remembered all the grand plans that her parents had once had, but that was then, she remembered, and there was no going back. Still, it was a rare time for she and Nick to be away from the club, and she wasn’t about to spoil what might have been. Not when there was this unexpected adventure lying ahead for her.

  Soon, they were packed and on their way. Buddy was spending a rare night with Ted, who luckily hadn’t left before they returned downstairs. Kat privately suspected it was because he was in shock over Nick’s sudden generosity.

  As they drove along the highway, Nick kept her entertained with stories of all the places that he’d seen and the travels he’d done during a short stint in the merchant marines. In her mind, she could picture the brash young man he’d been then, with his hair unkempt and a thick beard covering his cheeks. “You wouldn’t have any photos of you from then, would you?” she asked hopefully. Nick had pulled the top down to the car so her cheeks were bright from the wind and sun, and although she wore sunglasses against the bright rays, he knew her eyes were sparkling happily.

  Laughing, he shook his head. “Sorry, kid, for the most part, we were too busy just trying to survive and make a living. Although . . .” His lips turned into a secretive smile as he remembered the one time when there had been a photo taken of him. That is, if time hadn’t faded it into gray shadows. It was something he would have to look into, because he thought, with her reaction as evidence, she would just love it. I’ll bet it’s just the kind of thing that she would get a kick out of seeing. And hey, it’s something new. Even if it’s … old.